Ethics comes from the Greek word ethos, which means a way of life that is consistent with shared fundamental traits, such as behaviors, habits, attitudes and beliefs that guide a particular body of people toward making the best choices and presenting observable signs that support the common good of all. Ethics applies guidelines from an external source. The Catholic Church was established by Christ, our external source. The Church is an extension and continuation of his incarnation and his mission.
A treasured title for our Church is the Mystical Body of Christ. Jesus Christ is the head of the Mystical Body and he provides us with the highest ethical standards through the Gospels, Church teachings, and traditions. However, our sins weaken the body of Christ and thereby diminish the Catholic ethos. Sin is a fact of life, yet we strive to live Jesus in spite of the great and small sins that abound in society and within us. Our choices can contribute to the building up or the breaking down of the Mystical Body. To choose the latter is to add to the diseased elements in the body of Christ. Common sins, such as lying, vindictiveness, vicious anger, gluttony, discrimination, selfishness, or malicious gossip, weaken the body of Christ on earth.
When we sin, we distance ourselves from God and hurt others. If our love for something causes us to move away from God’s love, then we love it more than we love God. That love is soul-wounding and can even be deadly. Sin can enslave people. It freezes them within the boundaries of their self-absorption. Augustine defines sin as a state of being caved in on oneself. To be totally focused on our self weakens our understanding of sin. A sin remains a sin no matter what people call it or how often people do it. Sins should not be reduced to insignificant faults, softened by semantics, or justified by clever rationalizations. The evil within a particular sin can become so diluted that it is no longer recognized and becomes the new normal.
Sin often leaves us with a heavy heart, or a genuine sadness, that comes with doing something wrong. We can easily feel bad when we offend God or harm others and stew about what we did for a long time. The evil of sin can darken our opinion of ourselves, sap our energy, weaken our drive, eliminate our ambition, and leave us depressed and lethargic. It can halt our growth as Christians if we believe the lie that we are no good or past help. If we neglect receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation, it can easily cause us to underestimate the destructive value of sin, cause an indifference to sin, or initiate a habitual repetition of the sin with the thought that it has become an ordinary trend. Habitual, significant sins are downsized to small faults or foibles. To put off receiving this sacrament only darkens the soul.
Soul diseases, from small to great, can be healed. Grace and Church teachings are life-enhancing and soul-saving. They help us to avoid sinful situations and make choices that require the most courage. A healthy choice is to release the negative thoughts that hold us down. This is why the Sacrament of Reconciliation is such an immense treasure. Nothing brings more peace and new life to persons than the frank acknowledgment and confession of the evil they have done.
The Solution
“When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’” (John 20:19–23)
This is how Jesus, in his abundant love and mercy, established the Sacrament of Reconciliation for our soul’s hygiene.
We should never delay receiving this sacrament by making excuses, complacency, or procrastination. They are only false oases that stop us from receiving this transformational sacrament. Our Church is a wise mother, but we must go beyond pious cants, going through the motions, or minimal practicing of our religion to find that wisdom. To frequently partake of the Sacrament of Reconciliation is a singular blessing and a unique and life-expanding aspect of being a Catholic. This sacrament is also called the sacrament of penance, or confession.
“In the life of the body a man is sometimes sick, and unless he takes medicine, he will die. Even so, in the spiritual life a man is sick on account of sin. For that reason he needs medicine so that he may be restored to health; and this grace is bestowed in the sacrament of penance.” (Thomas Aquinas)
We are encouraged to receive this life-enhancing sacrament in a regular and heartfelt manner. Its reception should not be taken lightly because it bestows saving graces on us that are unique to us, imparts help needed to resist temptations, and forms us into stronger Catholics. We become better reflections of the light of Christ, which brings us nearer to Jesus, and are more captivated by him. The mercy of Jesus is at its highest level of richness in in this beloved sacrament. The chains of sin fall from us through the touch of the Divine Master and we are free. True freedom is the absence of sin.
The Steps
Before receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we should prepare ourselves by an examination of conscience. Helpful information is available regarding how to make a good examination. An examination of conscience is a gentle process that involves reflecting prayerfully on our thoughts, words, and deeds in order to identify our sins.
Next, we tell our sins to a priest. Receiving the sacrament of reconciliation takes courage and honesty, especially when we are anxious about doing this. It is not easy to admit sins, which show our faults and shortcomings. If we are nervous when we go to confession, we can tell the priest how we feel and most likely he will pray with us. The priest to whom confession is made is a delegate of Christ. He may be so understanding and compassionate that he gives us courage to begin our confession. There is really nothing to fear. He has heard it all, and the seal of confession forbids him to repeat or discuss anything he hears in the confessional.
There may be an occasion when the priest responds to us in a sharp or off-putting manner. He may have had a bad day or be troubled by something. When this happens, we should not hold it against him or use it as an excuse to stop receiving the sacrament. We are called to forgive him. Then we put him in Mary’s arms and ask her to help him.
Our confessions are not meant to make God aware of what we have done wrong. He already knows. Our confessions are meant to make us more aware of who we are as sinners, and why we are very much in need of God’s mercy. We try to experience contrition at a deep level because our sins have offended God who is all good and deserving of our love. Through the act of contrition, we tell God we are deeply remorseful for our sins and ask him to give us strength to resist tempting situations.
The priest gives us a penance, something we say or do, to make up for our sins and to help us strive to amend our lives. We turn to God through confession that results in conversion. We firmly believe sin harms our relationship with God and damages our relationship with others. Confession must prompt a change of heart that stimulates a change of behavior and actions. We remember that persons are made in the image of God. We are careful about how we treat them, and mind our manners when we are with them.
Confession is good for the soul. It is good for the body and the mind as well. When we are absolved, it is as if our mind has been washed clean of evil, the worst of all dirt. A great weight has been removed from our shoulders, our mind is relieved and our hearts renewed.
This sacrament is very beautiful and very simple. God comes to us in the form of Jesus through the priest. Sincere confession brings pardon and is also an opportunity to ask for help concerning evil inclinations that lurk in our mind. If we feel so inclined, we may desire to briefly share our troubles with the priest. We admit we do not have our act completely together and we need some help. This is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. We think, “I can do better than what I am doing now.” We earnestly desire to pick ourselves up and try again. Perhaps a listening ear, a quiet word, a bit of encouragement, or a helpful phrase from the priest will make us better Christians. What the priest said may be just what we need to start afresh. Telling our sins to the priest helps us deal with them. When we confess our sins we help build up the body of Christ. Frequent confession makes us more aware of this because we are more conscious of how our common sins weaken the body of Christ.
Bridget of Sweden tells us, “Just as an animal becomes a stronger beast of burden and more beautiful to behold the more often and better it is fed, so too confession — the more often it is used and the more carefully it is made as to both lesser and greater sins — conveys the soul increasingly forward and is so pleasing to God that it leads the soul to God’s very heart.”
Reparation
Thomas Aquinas wrote: “Christ’s passion is a universal cause for the forgiveness of sin, yet it needs to be applied to each individual soul for the cleansing of his personal sins . . . that is, he has provided for our redemption so that each of us could be delivered from our sins and restored to grace, just as if a doctor were to prepare a medicine by which all sickness could be cured in the future.”
How can we provide the medicine that is needed for alleviating sicknesses of the soul? Reparation is an excellent treatment. We strive to makes amends. In other words, we strive to repair the damage done by sin. There are many prayers of reparation to God and other forms of reparation, for the sins against him and the sins against humanity. Reparation is so very necessary in today’s society.
When Mary appeared to the three children at Fatima, Portugal, she said, “Pray, pray very much, make sacrifices for sinners, for many souls go to hell because there is no one to offer prayers and sacrifices for them.”4 This plea is for reparation on behalf of unrepentant sinners. Many of them can be saved through the prayers and sacrifices of others. Grievous sinners are still members of Christ’s Body even though they have turned away from him. We hope they will turn back to God through the acts of reparation offered by faithful members of his Body. We can make everything we do, especially disagreeable things, a sacrifice and offer it to God as an act of reparation. This would include offering up the trials, hardships, pain, and frustrations of each day for the salvation of souls.
Monica was the mother of Augustine. He was a very difficult child to raise and caused her much grief and many tears. As a teenager, he rejected Christianity and joined a sect that deeply disturbed her. He led an indolent and licentious life, was fond of frivolous pleasures, lived with a woman and fathered a son by her. For twenty years, Monica stormed heaven with prayers for her wayward son and made reparation for his deviant lifestyle. Her prayers seemed unanswered. Her tears brought no relief. Yet she did not give up and continued to pray and atone for the sins of her son.
Then it happened. Augustine repented and converted. He became a priest, Christian philosopher, theologian, religious community founder, bishop, and highly influential Christian writer. His best known books are The Confessions and The City of God. He is also known as the greatest Latin Father of the Church. Augustine said that his mother gave birth to him twice; the second time required a lengthy spiritual travail of prayers and tears, but it was crowned at last with the joy of seeing him not only embrace the faith and receive baptism, but also dedicate himself without reserve to the service of Christ. His mother is the patron saint of mothers and illustrates how mothers should never give up praying and making reparation for their errant children.
Reconciliation with Each Other
Forgiveness is an excellent practice to maintain growth in holiness. Because God forgives us through the sacrament of reconciliation, we are compelled to extend forgiveness to each other and to ourselves each day. Forgiveness broadens and deepens our ability to love and be loved. When we examine holiness within our soul, with the help of grace from the Holy Spirit we discover practical applications we can do that show our love for God and for the common good.
Once upon a time there were two teenage sisters. On a school morning one of them borrowed the other’s new sweater without asking. They got into a terrible fight. Their father became upset, went to work, and berated his secretary. Because of this, she had a bad day, went home and shouted at her children. The mother of the girls went shopping. She was angry and could not find what she wanted. She snapped at the cashier. The cashier went home crabby. The teenage girls had a dreadful day at school. Nothing went right.
This example illustrates the social aspects of a sin. It affects more people than the one who commits the sin. Sin fractures but reconciliation unites. The more we reconcile with God, ourselves, and others, the more we fortify the Catholic ethos by reinforcing our union with God, strengthening our Christian faith, and bonding with others. Reconciliation breaks down hostility and indifference and replaces them with generosity and healing. As God is merciful in forgiving us, so should we be merciful in forgiving others. When we forgive others, it does not mean we forget, or what they did was okay. It means not letting what they did disturb us. Teresa of Avila helps us along by reminding us to always strive to look at the virtues and the good qualities that we find in others and not to dwell on their sins and faults but on our own.
Anyone lacking the ability to forgive is also lacking the ability to love. Forgiveness strengthens love. Long-term relationships at any level can only sustain themselves if there is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not simple or easy, but we cannot authentically live or love without it. Nor can we truly be reconciled with anyone, even ourselves, without it.
Sin distances us from God and reconciliation returns us to God. After we are reconciled with God, reconciliation then extends to coming together with God’s people, especially those whom we have hurt by our sins. Union with others takes us from me and my life to us as people of God. It is not just about our speculations or ideas; it is about the availability of human dignity and rights to all people of God. Christians who live their faith with any depth know that authentic happiness comes from helping others. As we are able, we contribute to human rights and therefore confirm the dignity of each person. Human respect is essential for solidarity. This must be realized before we can be stewards of nature or animals. A ruinous imbalance occurs when an individual plants new trees to support a forest, but is a racist in his thoughts, words, and actions.
Sin is not defined by society’s call or majority rule. It is turning away from divine love. The more we partake of this wondrous sacrament, the more we will be able to define the dangerous components of sin and resist the temptations to sin. If we give serious reflection to the depths of wisdom in this sacrament, we will receive it within the context of a good habit. There is something personal and intimate about Reconciliation. In the confessional, or reconciliation room, it is like stepping outside of time and confronting the immediacy of sorrow, speaking truthfully about our sins to the priest, and experiencing a flood of God’s mercy and love. It strengthens our friendship with Jesus. All that is palpable. We have been forgiven, our heart is light, our soul is clean, and that is astounding. Francis de Sales urges us forward: “Go to your confessor; open your heart to him; display to him all the recesses of your soul; take the advice that he will give you with the utmost humility and simplicity. For God, who has an infinite love for obedience, frequently renders profitable the counsels we take from others, but especially from those who are the guides of our souls.”
We welcome changing our ill will to good will that enlarges our heart and strengthens our soul. These are a few of several graces gleaned from a good confession. Some good graces may even surprise us! God’s forgiveness heals us in indescribable ways. Forgiveness fosters goodness in ourselves and in the Catholic ethos around us. Goodness, manifest in the name of the Lord, brings us nearer to Jesus, the Lord of all and Savior of humankind. We, each in our own little way, stand up for Jesus as we bring little signs of the goodness of God to those who need it, and thereby keep the Catholic ethos strong.
About Carolyn Humphreys, OCDS
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